'AWNIOGO': NANTWICH (H)

Saturday, June 3 

June already and wouldn’t you know it, it’s drizzling. Cricket grounds are a depressing place to be when it’s raining, and it’s all the more galling when the rain isn’t even heavy enough to make a cow sit down. Nevertheless, rules is rules, and the start was delayed, so we were forcibly cooped up in the pavilion searching for ways to kill the boredom. My depression wasn’t being helped by reading Sartre’s Nausea (a novel depicting the futility of existence) so I decided to take the risk and play cards with that notoriously jammy duo, Heardy and Mauler. Harv completed the foursome. Having been briefly informed of the rules, we played a game called Crash (an extension of 9-card brag). Typically, Drew went ‘Crash’ on about the third hand and pocketed a couple of quid for his trouble, much to the distress of Minty who still didn’t know what was going on.

The game (the cricket game, that is) was eventually started at a quarter to four; we were invited to bat after losing yet another toss at home. The track was fairly quick due to some moist grass on the firm surface and any self-respecting seamer would have been champing at the bit to have a bowl on it. Addo and I put on 46 in 10 overs before the heavens opened again and we were shepherded off in rain that was scarcely harder than that in which we had been playing for the previous ten minutes. The Nantwich players seemed keen to leave the field and even keener to get the game abandoned, but the square was standing up well to the rain and Addo flatly refused to allow the game to be cancelled, as there were bonus points still to be played for. 

Wrekin View

As rain continued to fall steadily, we were beginning to lose faith in the possibility of a re-start. When the previous Sunday’s Staffordshire Cup tie against Kidsgrove was interrupted by rain, Drew had confidently predicted that the offending clouds would “blow over”. Needless to say, not another ball was bowled as the outfield was quickly transformed into a scaled-down map of the Lake District. On this occasion, though, Heardy maintained a judicious silence that was widely interpreted as pessimism. Sure enough, the game re-started at 6.10, 10 minutes after the strangely non-committal kilt-wearer had refused to give us his meteorological forecast. 

Following the resumption, it was important that we pressed on, yet whilst Addo was in prime form I was in terrible nick and was soon caught at square-leg from a top-edged hook shot. Harv came in at 65 for 1 and played an innings that can only be described as bizarrely brilliant. Whilst Addo was racing to a half-century from just 53 balls, Harv was frequently playing and missing, particularly against the Nantwich professional, South African left-armer Adriaan Swanepoel – no relation to Candice Swanepoel (pictured left) – who was getting the ball to talk. Probably in Afrikaans. Then, suddenly, Dickie decided that enough was enough and went absolutely berserk. He began by slapping a wide half-volley through point for four, a shot which prompted Swanepoel to comment in his unmistakable, guttural Boer accent: “You’re f**king crap. Where did you learn your f**king cricket?” Harv’s answer was to smash his next two balls to the cover boundary.

When Addo had given his partner back the strike by pinching a single off the first ball of the next over, bowled by Symns, Minty’s adrenalin was really beginning to pump. Again he hit three consecutive fours, two down the ground and one clipped through mid-wicket. For good measure, he hit his next ball but one for four as well to take his score into the thirties.

In his next over, Swanepoel proceeded to bowl a succession of bouncers at Harv who, rather like a limbo-dancer, ducked under them all, including one which only just cleared the bails. This prompted another ‘conversation’ between the two of them in which Swanepoel asked Minty why he wasn’t hitting any of the short balls. Harv simply grinned and, in his unmistakable Potteries accent, replied, “You can bowl it there all day mate, you onner gonna get me out, are you?” At a sudden loss for words, Swanepoel (whose namesake Candice is pictured below) turned sheepishly and on the way back to his mark received Addo’s brusque verdict that the reason he wasn’t bowling in the batsman’s half was that he knew he would get smashed. 

In the next over, the final one before the last 20, we passed the 125, collecting our third batting point off only 20.3 overs. I believed that the time was right to declare and Hawk agreed, yet there were a few people who didn’t, most notably Heardy who thought we should go on to collect the full five batting points as they were there for the taking. If we were to declare, Nantwich would have been looking to score about seven runs per over off 17 (as 3 overs would be deducted for the change around). Bully reckoned that we shouldn’t have given them a sniff, let alone a feasible target. 

However, with conditions ideal for seamers, I considered it unlikely that they would get the runs because if wickets didn’t come then we could quite easily go on the defensive. Also, in Nantwich, we had an opponent that was irrelevant as far as the promotion race was concerned since they will he resigning from the league at the end of the season, and I was sure that the blasé attitude they had shown in the earlier part of the game was indicative of how they would set about their target. I was convinced we should declare.

Addo batted on for one more over (during which the Nantwich players began to overtly question our desire to win the game) and then marched off, setting a target of 132 from 16 overs at a shade above eight runs per over. Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No. 

Heardy queries the declaration

In the dressing room during the change-over Drew was beside himself with disbelieving anger, kicking kitbags and tutting to himself as the steam came out of his ears. He thought we were “chucking points away”. Whatever his opinion, the captain had reached a decision and, although manifestly disagreeing with it, Drew ought to have accepted it and taken to the field with his normal positive attitude. Instead, he went out in an enormous sulk, stationed himself at gully (just out of spitting distance from the stumps in case Richard Marsh opened the batting), and oched and ayed like an old Scottish banshee.

Both Mauler and Shaun bowled excellent first overs with the new rock before John struck with the final ball of the third over, ripping through the defense of a tentative Hardy. Barrington was immediately replaced when he lost his direction during his second over, and his substitute, Seth, took a wicket with his very first ball: Davies was too slow on the pull and spooned a simple catch in my direction. Hawk then bowled (The Batsman Formerly Known As) Prince in his next over, and all of a sudden Nantwich were reeling at 34 for 3.

At the other end, Mauler was steaming in and getting some devilish late inswing which proved the undoing of Blackledge, bowled via the inside edge as he aimed to drive. By now Heardy (realizing that the captain’s decision had been vindicated by the fact that we had already collected the two bonus points he said we’d be chucking away) had come partially out of his funk and even deigned to join the rest of the team in the huddle at the fall of the fourth wicket!! Mascarenhas, the incoming batsman, was then hutched up first ball, completely beaten for pace by a ferocious inswinging Yorker from a now rampant Myatt, and with Nantwich having subsided to 38 for 5 after only 8.5 overs we had the faintest chance of pulling off an amazing victory. 

'Huddle' by Iain Vellocott

Andy Newton – the opposing skipper, and person who had most vociferously questioned our will to win – walked out to face hat-trick ball, negotiated courtesy of an inside edge that whistled past his leg-stump. Hawk then gave him a roasting over at the other end with one enormous appeal for lbw turned down and two more balls just missing the outside edge. Both Mauler and Seth were hitting my gloves extremely hard and, with our momentum as strong as it was, I felt that if we could split this pair immediately then we might just pull the proverbial rabbit from the hat. As it was we were kept waiting another 18 deliveries before Mark Symns became the sixth wicket, skittled by an unplayable leg-cutter from Andy. 

With only 2 overs remaining Addo gave Billy and Cokey (back from his fishing trip in Ireland) an over each. They both bowled maidens but were unable to find the edge, and so a bedraggled Nantwich saw out time on 61 for 6. From only 38 overs cricket we had picked up 6 points – a tremendous effort. Our bowling had been menacing and some of our fielding was electrifying. If we could keep our cricket as intense as this for the rest of the season then there would not be a side in the section who could live with us. However, it is perhaps unrealistic to think that conditions will always be as favourable. Also, the transience of form and fitness, fluctuating levels of motivation, players taking holidays, luck, umpiring decisions and the resilience of the opposition all constitute significant obstacles. 

obstacle

There was a bit of a shock after the match when Iain Carr asked Addo to drop him for the next game. He said he wasn’t enjoying it anymore and would prefer a run out in the seconds. I figured he was just disappointed with his bowling form this year, and perhaps a little oversensitive to constructive criticism, but was sure that his frame of mind would change as soon as he started to bowl closer to the capabilities that we all know he possesses. Billy is a hugely talented performer with both bat and ball and forms an integral part of our plans. I hoped he could get the frustration out of his system and return to being the focused but happy cricketer that he was last season. 

I wished the rest of the boys good luck for the following day’s rescheduled Staffordshire Cup match against Kidsgrove, then dashed off to catch my train. The abandonment of last Sunday’s game meant that our Talbot Cup quarter-final had to be pushed back a week. Now I am missing not only the rescheduled Kidsgrove match but also, should Nottingham Uni beat Warwick, the Newcastle tie. After the lack of understanding Addo showed last time, it’s probably best I don’t mention this until it becomes definite!!

MATCH DRAWN

MODDERSHALL 131 for 1 dec. (22 overs)

J Addison 69*, R Harvey 35*

NANTWICH 61 for 6 (16 overs)

J Myatt 3-33, A Hawkins 3-17

MODDERSHALL 6 points

NANTWICH 0 points