'AWNIOGO': CREWE ROLLS-ROYCE (H)*

Sunday, April 30

TALBOT CUP, ROUND 1 

When facing the gentle medium-pace of Drew Heard in the nets on a Friday evening, you can do one of two things: either get angry and frustrated at the monotonous regularity with which he seems to find the ridge, or get angry and frustrated at the monotonous regularity with which he seems to find the corner of the net down the leg side. In short, Drew is a batsman. No doubt he himself would claim to be an all-rounder, but those of us in the know regard him as a batsman. I mean, proper bowlers don’t stare at their feet when delivering the ball. And proper bowlers usually have run-ups that are longer than their own shoelaces. Not Drew. And do you know why? That’s right, because HE IS A BATSMAN.

However, what should I hear when I phoned up to find out the result of our first round Talbot Cup clash with Royces? Drew had won the game with the ball by taking 3 for 4 from 2 overs!!!

According to my sources, the story of the game was this: we had won the toss and elected to bat. Iain Carr top-scored with 40, but the crucial innings was long-handled by Coke, whose 37 was made from only 24 balls and included 3 sixes and 2 fours. This brutal cameo hoisted our score into the realms of respectability, but the team would have to bowl and field with discipline if they were to defend a score of 189.

When Barrington Brian’s radar went on the blink in only his second over (during which he sent down nine wides), things weren’t looking too good. From 23 for 2, Rolls-Royce progressed to 103 for 2, with Tomkinson and Hampshire both into their forties and going well. Cokey came on and slowed things down but it took a dreadful piece of captaincy for us to win the match. Addo disobeyed the unwritten Moddershall law that states: when struggling in the field, avoid eye-contact with Drew Heard. Bully was tossed the cherry and within ten deliveries the game was over.

It is not unusual for Drew’s bowling to change the course of a match. Normally, he bowls, we lose. Not this time. Cokey got out his Mr Sheen and polished off the tail and we finished up winning comfortably. Thanks to a next-round bye, this victory gives us direct passage to the quarter-finals; maybe the name of Moddershall has already been engraved on the cup by the Fates. You never know…

Drew’s performance earned him nothing more than a congratulatory telephone call from his skipper at half-past midnight, something that pleased Yvonne no end. 

MODDERSHALL WON BY 41 RUNS 

MODDERSHALL 189 for 6 (40 overs) 
I Carr 40, K Colclough 37*, A Hawkins 30
CREWE ROLLS-ROYCE 148 all out (36.5 overs) 
P Hampshire 43, W Tomkinson 42, K Colclough 4-14, A Heard 3-4